Unsaid
by Spirix
Summary: There are somethings you never say to those you love, but that doesn't mean they don't hear it. Ed Elric x Roy Mustang. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

* * *

**Unsaid**

"It's been two years already," Ed commented as he put the can of paint on the floor.

Roy closed the apartment door behind him and walked over to where the eighteen year old was examining the wall texture. "Yes, it's hard to imagine life being so calm now isn't it?"

Ed transmuted his finger to pry open the can and smiled. "Crazy hard. I mean, look at all the differences. I got Al back, safe and sound. I finally achieved my goal, as did you even if it wasn't what you expected."

Roy put the rollers on the floor and stepped around a few packed boxes. He had just moved into this larger apartment in Central. It was only on the other side of the city from where he lived before but the location made all the difference in the world to his status. The posh neighbourhood was very elitist and only men of stature could buy a place. Roy smiled at his large condo and thought to himself: _Now this is a place suited for a general like myself._

Ed was already stirring the paint with a stick when Roy snapped out of his appraisal of the place. It still felt surreal to him; he hadn't seen Ed since _that _evening two years ago when he lost his eye and his future. The position he had slain a demon to attain was now gone, as was Ed. Roy found out much later after he had been release from the hospital with half his vision and half his ambition that Edward had gotten Al's body back and was living in Risembool until the boy regained use of his muscles.

Imagine Roy's surprise when he saw the older, taller blond at a coffee shop while Roy was on his way to his new place to paint the walls. Without thinking he asked Ed to join him.

Roy looked him over and felt old emotions welling up inside him, ones he thought he had long suppressed. For years he had loved Edward but had told himself his feelings were misplaced, unfounded and dishonest. After Ed had left he was able to put those feelings aside and make peace with the simple fact that they were not as real as he had wanted them to be, maybe even just a passing fancy. Edward had always been the only one who understood his pain and was able to make him feel human again. They had never been intimate in a physical sense but emotionally Roy thought they maybe they were too intimate.

It had never become a problem though. They had never crossed that traitorous line between being understanding friends to being too understanding, too close, too much.

Roy shook his head and walked over to Edward. "I guess we should get going. Your layover here is only for five hours right?"

Ed brandished a paint brush with his cocky grin. "Five hours is more than enough for me to paint all you trim. You just worry about the center portions of the walls and stay out of my masterful way."

Roy smirked at how they fell back into old habits so easily.

It didn't take them long to finish the room, not when Ed knocked over the bucket with his automail foot and just alchemized the paint onto the walls evenly before it seeped into the floor boards. Now that sat together in the middle of the room, each with a beer in a comfortable silence that Ed was the first to break.

"It wouldn't have worked would it?" Ed said, not looking at Roy. Roy didn't bother asking for an elaboration because he could hear the words unsaid. _It wouldn't have worked would it? You and I as a couple._

Roy replied, knowing Ed would hear his own silent confession. "No, it wouldn't have." _But that wouldn't have stopped me from trying my hardest._

Ed lay on the floor with his beer propped on his chest with one hand. "That doesn't change what I think of you." _ And how I feel about you._

"Don't worry; I know your lack of respect still stand Fullmetal." _As well as your love for me._

Ed snickered forcefully, "Well I'm glad you're not worried," _about me. _"I would hate for you to lose sleep or turn grey." _Because of me. _"Then you really would look like the old man you are." _But never were to me._

Roy took a swig of his beer and placed it down beside him. "I never worry." _Except all those moments I can't see you in person. _"You're the Fullmetal Alchemist, with a skull of steal." _And a soul of pure gold._

Ed looked up at him from his lying position. The fake conversation died with the intensity of those molten orbs. Roy could tell without fault that the emotions turning his own stomach over continuously were also plaguing Edward as well. There mutual love was broadcasted silently between them but neither moved.

It could not be and they both knew it.

"I have to go pick Winry up a wrench," Ed said but Roy could see between the lines. _I have to mention my girlfriends name in order to break the tension between us._

Roy replied, "Well I know better than to keep that young woman waiting." _Though I would gladly wait for you._

"Yeah, she's gotten better at throwing her wrenches from a distance. There are so many holes in the walls now that our bedroom looks more like a wicker basket than anything else. I wish we had a place like this." _And by 'we' I mean you, Roy, and I._

"Only the most decorated of politicians and generals live here." _Meaning I would much rather live somewhere else, where I could be with you._

Roy got to his feet and offered Edward a hand up. Edward gladly took it and was pulled to his feet. They stood for a long time, holding hands and basking in this final moment. They both could feel the presence of the door, beckoning Edward away to his life in Risembool. Roy wouldn't stop him, because he had nothing to offer in replacement. A coupling like there would never be approved of. It would only welcome a lifetime of segregation and fighting for their right to love.

Edward broke his gaze to that door. "I should really go." _But I would rather stay._

"You should, drop by again when the place is all done up." _But I know you can't and I don't blame you._

Roy's face faltered for a moment to reflect the sadness he felt below the surface. Edward looked back and saw this crake in the General Mustang and pulled him into a tight hug. With arms firmly wrapped around his ribs, Roy listened to what Ed was telling him with his actions, his heart breaking more and more steadily.

_You know I would stay if it were allowed. We have achieved our goals in bizarre ways: you giving this country peace even if not as Fuhrer and me giving Al his body back even if not with his memories intact. There is still too much for us both to do to turn our backs on everything. I want you like you want me, but nothing can ever come of it._

Roy stroked his hands into Edward's hair, freeing the ponytail as he silently replied.

_I know, I know, I know but I want to hold you just this once, then I will walk away. That's all I can give to you. I can't offer you a happy home and family with my presence so I offer it in my absence. Just don't forget me._

Edward quickly shoved him away and walked towards the door, his bangs hiding his face. _This is too hard. I need to leave before my resolve breaks._

Roy made no move to follow him. _My resolve is all but gone already. If I speak I know it will be all the wrong sweet words I can never say._

The blond ripped open the door and ran out, leaving it open in his wake. Roy sat back down with a flop, trying to put a rein on the torrent welling up inside of him, threatening to spill out of his one eye. About to take a deep breath and go to close the door, he looked up to see Ed staring back at him.

"That eye patch doesn't really suit you, it would be better over your mouth." Ed's eyes were overly bright even from that distance. _I'm sorry about what happened to you. I wish I had of been there with you._

"If anyone needs a gag, it's _you_."_ You really need to go now, before you can't walk away and before I try to stop you._

A single tear fell down Edward's cheek. _I love you._

Roy parted his lips. _I love you more._

Edward reached forward and grabbed the doorknob. He gave Roy one final look. _I will never forget you Roy. _Then he closed the door.

Roy finally let his watery eye spill over. _I won't forget you either. Goodbye, Edward._

* * *

**A/N:** This is based on my life today. An old friend came to visit me after two years apart. We had a fight after I moved and never really got to make amends before I followed may family to the other end of the country.

We were always close, closer than we should have been, but we never really became a couple. He always said he had to much respect for me to just have a heated affair without a future and that he wasn't good enough for me anyways jokingly. I always said it would never work out because we wanted different things in life and that we would make better friends.

We were never single at the same time and our paths crossed less and less until I moved and contact stopped completely. Last night he called me just before midnight and asked if he could see me. Of course I said yes.

I spent the whole morning cleaning my house, stocking my fridge and making myself look good because I knew once I saw him we would be locked in an unbreakable embrace that would lead us to the nearest available surface. We had a lot of lost time and stupid excuses to make up for and we both knew it.

He was at my house for eight hours and we did nothing other than lie curled up together on the couch and talk about all the old times. Every time we went to take it to the undressing level something would happened that forced us to stop: food burning, dog escaping the yard, parents calling, sister barging in and so on.

Ironically enough we both just laughed and gave up. We could never hook up in the past so why now?

Submitting to fate we had dinner with my parents and talked about his future plans and my dad gave him professional advice for this and that.

I walked him to the end of the street where visitor's parking is and we said our goodbyes like the good friends we are. Our eyes met through the car window and I knew he was saying what he always said.

_I'm striving to be better... for you._

And I looked back thinking what I always did, knowing he could hear me just as clear.

_You don't have to but regardless, I'm always here for you. Don't forget it._

I wish I could have told him I loved him, but I'm glad I didn't. Neither of us are ready to say those words, even though we know we feel it.

...

Fuck my life is such a goddamn play. It just doesn't seem real anymore.

-rix the demon


End file.
